Cheers to Our Light

Yesterday morning, I woke up thinking about Dawn—how she has struggled with alcohol for years. We were introduced by an old colleague of mine when I was an IT Account Executive a lifetime ago. Dawn read Wholly Sober shortly after it was first published in 2016 and sent me a message letting me know how the book had resonated with her. Over the years, I noticed she liked and sometimes commented on my social media posts, but nothing more than that.

Reaching for Real Connection

This past November, feeling the nudge to make more in-real-life connections, I started with Dawn. Since we were introduced through a friend I admired and respected, I had no concerns about safety. And we had been Facebook friends for eight years.

You can fake your looks with filters and pretend success with flashy bags, but there’s a genuineness you can detect too—like her fondness for family and her fierce loyalty. Traits we share.

Taking a serious risk of rejection (and maybe a little “are you nuts?” judgment), I asked her to meet me IRL for coffee. I was feeling bold and ready for something more in my life. Life looked good on paper, but I hadn’t felt real connection to my work or personal growth in a long time.

What’s shocking is that I had, just this past year, completed additional certifications that should have boosted me—but they fell flat. (More on that later.)

Back to this small act of courage that opened me to a broader horizon.

The Coffee That Changed Everything

Dawn responded, “I would love that.”
Whew—and yes, let’s do this.

It had been years since I’d met anyone for coffee, between Covid, moving to North Carolina (and back), and just feeling meh. I was shocked to discover there weren’t many local coffee shops along the freeway, but I drove a little farther into the Portland Metro area and met her at Starbucks.

I’m happy to report that Dawn was exactly who I thought she would be—warm, kind, loving, and fierce. She was excited to share that she had quit drinking and was coming up on or around a month.

I wasn’t surprised she shared this with me, but honestly, I didn’t care.
Don’t get me wrong—I love supporting women—but I have always contended that alcohol is not the problem. I’m far more interested in the woman herself—her dreams, goals, and aspirations.

Here’s a secret:
The majority of women I’ve worked with over the past fifteen years who relied on alcohol to numb didn’t have dreams, goals, or aspirations (DGA’s) that were born from their soul.

It’s Not About the Alcohol

For years, I’ve been trying to teach women:
It’s not about the alcohol.

Yet, somehow, that’s still how I’ve been seen.
No matter how hard I tried to separate myself from the recovery industry, I was still seen through the lens of alcohol, abstinence, recovery…blah blah blah.

And because I didn’t toe the industry’s shared lines of belief and practices, I couldn’t capitalize on the massive financial opportunities tied to it.
But still—that’s how people saw me.

Oh, don’t get me wrong. I am a champion for women and progress.
If a woman was happy with thirty days alcohol-free, I was ecstatic.
But what mattered to me was: What’s next? Who do you want to be? How do you want to live your life? Where are you headed?

That day with Dawn wasn’t about coaching. It was about connection.

Building a Real Friendship

Dawn is a fabulous mother to both humans and fur babies, a loving wife, and a professional who works from home.

It was a little awkward at first (she later confessed her husband had put safety measures in place just in case I was crazy—hysterical!) but there was no fear. As it turns out, it was the beginning of a beautiful, budding friendship.

We just had another coffee date recently, and it was even better. When I saw her walk in, her beautiful smile lit up the room. I was so excited to hug her.

She is pure magic.

This time, we shared more personal stories—tattoos, kids—and yes, she was excited to report six months without alcohol.
And it had been effortless.

I asked her just one question:
“How do you feel?”

She smiled and said, “Happy.”

Being the intuitive being that I am, I didn’t just hear the word—I listened for the life in it.
And it was real. She was happy.

She went on to share that she had a goal: to scale Mount St. Helens.
Afraid of heights and knowing it would be a physical challenge, she still felt excited.
She even told me how she recently went to a bar with her 21-year-old daughter and friends—sang karaoke—and didn’t even think about drinking.
She was happy just being there, being included, and offering the girls a safe ride home.

She never thought she’d sleep so well without alcohol or return to the gym.
She was alive.

The Bigger Picture: It’s About Light, Not Liquor

I want to be clear:
Dawn never hired me as a coach.

We connected through a mutual friend and stayed lightly in touch over the years.
Whether I had any influence on her is irrelevant to why I’m sharing this with you.

I believe with all my soul: Alcohol is not the problem.

We often use alcohol (or other numbing habits) to survive seasons of apathy, loneliness, transition, or stagnation—especially women in their prime.
But society insists we are addicted and cannot be fixed.
The more we are subjected to that messaging, the more true it becomes—and the more struggle ensues.

Dawn outgrew the redundant lifestyle that excessive alcohol use lures us into.
She knew there had to be more. And she started growing forward.

Yes, she stopped and started several times.
But each time, she collected more information, more insight, more strength.

I’m so proud of her—not for quitting drinking—but for choosing life.
For choosing to grow into a woman who feels happy.

When she finally focused on her life, alcohol became a non-issue.

A New Vision, A New Light

One of the sweetest moments Dawn shared was when her daughter told her,
“I love sober Mom.”
And Dawn beamed.

Her journey wasn’t about counting days.
She doesn’t track her sober days—she tracks her budget now!
Funny enough, it was her budgeting app that celebrated her six-month mark.

But the real celebration is her living a life that feels alive.

Why I’m Sharing This With You

I want to inspire you:
You can grow forward without needing all-or-nothing thinking.

Dawn reconnected to her light.
She’s doing things that make her feel alive.
She’s indulging in a life she loves.

And she reminded me, too.

I realized I was hurting my own message by using language hijacked by traditional recovery models.
No matter how differently I meant the term “sober,” if I used it, people’s focus would always be on alcohol—not on life.

I started paying closer attention to my discontent.
My vision became clearer.

I no longer serve alcohol treatment.

I support women reconnecting to their light—what makes them feel alive, unique, and aligned with their purpose.

And guess what?
When women do that, a whole cascade of harmful habits, thoughts, and relationships naturally fall away.

I have never felt more alive.

Cheers to our light!

About Teresa Rodden
Teresa Rodden is a coach, author, and guide for women in their prime who are ready to stop numbing, start feeling, and live with purpose. Through her signature message, Love Yourself Back to Light, Teresa helps women reconnect with their truth, rewrite limiting narratives, and remember their brilliance. Whether through her writing, coaching programs, or live workshops, she invites women to embrace curiosity, courage, and the power of their own story.

Connect with Teresa on Instagram @i_am_teresarodden