Don’t you just hate ulterior motives? Wouldn’t it be great if people said what they meant and meant what they said? Wouldn’t it be great if people would come straight to you with their message instead of cloaked in a group message and then call you out because they haven’t heard from you?
Look, I’m about feeling what you feel, saying what you feel, and truth, love and light. I believe anything less than the truth isn’t the truth.
Part of maintaining my rock’n Pink Cloud sobriety is speaking, standing, and living my personal truth. It’s what keeps me on the straight and narrow. I don’t ever need to block out feelings of resentment and it is how I keep my self-esteem in check.
The question is…when somebody does piss you off, offends you, or betrays you, what do you do? Well, for me, I know never to react charged with negative emotion. I never want to have any regrets. I want to always be able to look anybody in the eye.
In my pre-sober days I would cut you with my tongue and leave you bleeding and not think twice. My nature is not to hurt, as I found out early in my sobriety. This is one reason for the numbing with booze. I hurt people when I was scared, threatened, angry…hurt, as a way to survive and it caused me a lot of pain. I would have never admitted it then.
So, what’s a girl to do? I walked around the grocery store in conversation with God asking many questions and not waiting for any answers. I drove home discussing out loud my thoughts and opinions about the situation and by the time I got home, the conversation evaporated.
In the morning I sat with a soulful sister friend that I can speak my truth to and get honest unbiased feedback. As I was sharing with her this situation, I had it all worked out brilliantly, and peace was served.
3 Steps to Keep Your Peace
I have practiced the following three steps for years and they have never steered me wrong.
- What is the truth?At first I was offended and angry. The truth, I felt betrayed by a friend.
- What do I want?I want to speak my truth and create a firm boundary.
- Be still and let the answer come to me.It always does.
Very seldom does a situation require us to unsheathe our claws and fight like hell cats, because we feel we’ve been wronged! Usually, it’s just poor communication and not as big of a deal as it seems in the emotionally charged moment.
Give yourself space and time. You’ll be glad you did and nothing is more important to your healthful living than peace, baby.
– Teresa Rodden, Certified Life Coach