Liminal Drinking really isn’t about drinking at all. It’s that space between who you are and who you are becoming in relation to alcohol. In this transitional space, every bit of information you take in is downloaded into your psyche and shapes your thoughts and beliefs.
WHAT YOU THINK IS NOT ALWAYS TRUE, DITTO FOR BELIEFS
For instance, someone who has been a devout member of a twelve-step program believes they have a brain disease called addiction. When in recovery you are encouraged to think of addiction as a monster that will never be slain. The best you can hope for is that it never overtakes you. Is this true? Not for me, but many do believe this.
Just a handful of years ago there was one landing spot for anyone struggling with alcohol it was a chronic brain disease, and incurable.
Now adding to the mix is a belief that it’s not so cut and dry, and there are levels to consider, and referred to as Alcohol Use Disorder. Theoretically, in the lower levels, there is an opportunity to intervene in the progression of the disorder. But the focus is still mainly on alcohol and abstinence is the measure of success.
My point is that it’s no longer all or nothing, alcoholic or not, but the most common approach used and recommended by healthcare professionals and the well meaning friend is the traditional meetings, steps, and abstinence program.
Even with many other options becoming available to address your alcohol concern I have found any combination of the following addiction, disease, twelve-steps, abstinence forever, meetings, and alcohol is bad, is the focus.
If you google search help with drinking or do I have a drinking problem, what comes up? Addiction ads and alcohol-focused support.
The belief that I was indoctrinated with, the disease theory, is not the whole truth. Science has debunked it and so have I and many others.
But there are many that do believe it, so it’s true, for them.
I took another route. Why? Because around month six I started feeling that gnawing feeling of being trapped. Like is this it? Is this who I am now? Is this how I am going to identify for the rest of my life?
Some may say that was when I was coming off my pink cloud. The saying goes when you’re on your pink cloud everything feels wonderful but eventually, you fall off your pink cloud and land back in reality. Perhaps they are correct, but I decided to follow my pink cloud and stop doing what I was supposed to do, and started paying attention to what I wanted to do.
I have said it from the beginning if you genuinely want to break the habit of drinking, you need to shift your focus. The more you think about drinking (or not drinking) the more drinking becomes an obsessive thought. It’s like picking at a wound. The more you pick the longer it takes to heal.
So, what’s a girl to do? This seems so obvious but so many of us miss it. Find something else to obsess over but in a healthy way. I recently heard there are two kinds of obsessions; need and want. When you need, you’re likely to miss critical cues that warn you’re out of balance, and other parts of your life get neglected. When your obsession is a want it’s not all-consuming and doesn’t take a toll on your family, work, spirituality, finances, friendships, creativity, and parenting.
WHERE YOUR FOCUS GOES, ENERGY FLOWS
You’ve heard me say it before, and I’m saying it again, where your focus goes energy flows.
You haven’t heard that one? Maybe you’ve heard me say, what you think about, you bring about. As a woman thinketh, so is she. Well, this last one is scripture, and they use the pronoun he, but this article is for you.
The bottom line is, if you want to stop thinking about drinking, you have to stop thinking about drinking.
Liminal drinking is when your inner wisdom, Spirit, God, the Universe, is letting you know it’s time to pivot. You’re off track, but alcohol quiets down the messaging and numbs the pain of dissonance.
When you are in this liminal space it can be a tug of war trying to control your drinking or an exciting adventure to discover what else could you do with this one and only precious life of yours?
What are you craving that you keep pushing away with a drink or two, four or more?
Get curious. Be courageous. Do some Exploring.
If ever you want an experienced guide who has been where you are and loves to travel with women to discover their own path, I’m just a click away.