Most of my life I watched my mother struggle with alcohol. Starting from my tender years, I can remember two very specific emotions from my mother.
The first being a deep love for us kids. A mother’s love. There is no denying, no matter how reckless some of her decisions had been, she would let a lion claw the beating heart out of her chest, before she would let it get to one of us kids.
The second being fear. It was as though it had its own place in the family. Like, if you took a family photo there it would be looming over my mother. I watched it rob her of living. The only time she had a reprieve was when she drank. And then she drank as if to save her life. I couldn’t imagine having that kind of paralyzing, all-consuming fear that is relentless. My heart still hurts for her and all she missed out on.
Trying to tell her to quit drinking was like taking away her life pass. No more drinking? No more courage to step out of the box. No more freedom to think about her own needs just for a moment. She was a prisoner either way. Except with alcohol she felt as though she had some choice, some control.
I certainly inherited her fear. I was exposed, as I mentioned from the beginning, but I developed courage to challenge it and put it in its rightful place. My courage rises against fear and it wins. The beautiful result is confidence to keep going. I witness women on any given day living in fear to some degree. Fear has its place. It can keep us safe. But if it’s stopping you from growing, pursuing, living, it needs to be shut down.
If you are leaning on alcohol to face fear or defy it, fear is actually gaining on you.
My passion is to teach women to live with courage, confidence and conviction to be themselves. They are worthy of greatness. And their greatness is determined by them. Not everybody is supposed to have their name in neon, write a book, ink a recording deal, be a phenomenal Susie homemaker, or you fill in the blank.
There is no doubt in my mind, had my mother been given the tools, support, and guidance, she could have avoided missing so much life, numbing out the fear.
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– Teresa Rodden, Certified Life Coach
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