“Where your focus goes, energy flows,” is one of my guiding principles to live in sober freedom. If you are new to my work it’s important to understand that sober is not defined by abstinence. It is way more involved than whether you drink or not. Sober is having a clear mind, an open heart, and living with defined intention. Freedom is from the need to misuse alcohol, constantly thinking about drinking (or not drinking), measuring my success by whether I drink or not and, this is important, living to my rhythm of life – not somebody else’s.

I learned early in my eighteen years of sobriety that if I wanted to truly be free, I had to focus on what I wanted. I chose to go after life and become the woman I wanted to be. Mind you, that I wasn’t 100% sure I knew what I wanted or who I wanted to be, but I knew to follow the clues of what piqued my curiosity, made me feel joy, and gave me fulfillment.

I haven’t been perfect. The video below is one of a million examples.


In 2013, I had a conscious thought to make sure my Mother felt my love. That means I would always answer the phone and be present with her. Tell her how much I love her and give her kisses on her cheek and forehead.

In this video, I share what I first labeled as an epic fail. It’s always the one time, right? But I knew that was my old ego-self trying to make sure I suffer good. Then my spirit moved in and said this is life. We won’t get it perfect, but we can learn and grow from EVERY experience.

Spirit reminded me to focus on what matters most – Love, learning, growing, using the wisdom and insight I glean through the journey of painful experiences to help ease the suffering or lessen the struggle for others.


Are you constantly judging if you are good or bad by whether you drink or not?

Do I have a problem or not?

Do I have to live the rest of my life bored out of my mind?

Can I never enjoy a glass of wine with a special dessert or cheers with champagne?

What about the first warm day of Spring and BBQ and beer season?

These are the kinds of things that I heard in every meeting day after day after day. I went to over ninety meetings in ninety days. When I finally went to Alcoholics Anonymous I dove into the deep end and gave it all I had.

These are valid questions and they make sense to ask, but alcohol was always the focus.

I got to the point where I wanted to say Fck it and drink.

That was when I knew I had to shift my focus and it could never happen with these messages always playing. I had to be in charge with what my mind was being fed and digested by my soul.


We have this one life. ONE!

How will you spend the rest of your days?

What matters to you most?

How can you help others feel your love?


Where your focus goes energy flows. It’s not just a clever quote.

Deliberate focus on who you wish to be and how you want to be experienced is necessary for sober freedom.

Please watch the video below for more insight into how being distracted by worrying about what could go wrong can steal precious moments in life. 

Much love, Teresa

Teresa Rodden Author Coach Advocate for sober possibilities

Before you drink, Think PINK!