SHUTTING DOWN PINK CLOUD COACHING AND OPENING UP TERESA RODDEN
Last spring, I came to a long overdue decision. I shut down Pink Cloud Coaching. I have served many with coaching, workshops, writing, and more through that entity since 2012. There were times when I would introduce a new concept; Sober Revolution, Rethinking Your Drinking, and Rethinking Recovery.
They all had their own messaging and energy behind them and served a specific need I feel is missing in the sober, recovery, habit, and addiction community. These were all clues informing me of what I wasn’t ready to accept…yet.
Sober Revolution was to revolutionize the way we think about sober, which I one hundred percent am on board with. We need to stop measuring sober success on whether we drink or not and instead assess ourselves and our life as a whole. We would better to stop counting the days we don’t drink and instead make our days count. I wrote a small little book available on Amazon that details my reasoning.
Rethinking Your Drinking was to attract people that didn’t identify as addicts or alcoholics but were ready to reassess their habit. My hope was to intercept them before they were exposed to the language and beliefs that could cause more harm than help. The messaging is so prevalent and repetitive that it is like an earworm and can be hard to shake. I still believe this wholeheartedly.
Rethinking Recovery was organizing and providing a hub of forward-thinking providers and resources in the addiction field that offer freedom for seekers to find and follow their own path. Uhhh, yes, please. This is still a need.
All great ideas, but I would always go back to the pink cloud. Why? Because it was a personal fck you to the people and a program that I feel, to my core, could have destroyed me. I was angry, hurt, and felt betrayed. Because in the first couple of months of treatment, I never doubted my ability to live without alcohol. Fortunately, I had a counselor that didn’t support or buy into the Alcoholics Anonymous belief system. So, I didn’t think I was powerless or forever diseased.
Even after running into the bosom of Alcoholics Anonymous, my focus wasn’t on alcohol, drinking or not drinking. I was curious about who can I be and what was next. My journal was filled with dreams and, possibilities, progress. My enthusiasm was apparent to every member who told me I was on a pink cloud. They were confident that I was going to fall off my pink cloud and find a reality that wasn’t so optimistic. If you’ve followed me at all or read my books, I chose to ride my pink cloud out of the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous with less than a year of abstinence in December 2003.
I haven’t felt a need or desire to drink alcohol for almost twenty years. I decided in my heart and mind who I wanted to be and how I want to experience my life. Drinking has never been completely off the table. I never told myself NEVER. I think that mindset has served me well and contributes a great deal to why I have never struggled with my decision.
Over the last few years, I kept returning to the pink cloud and what I didn’t recognize but is so clear to me now is that remaining attached to that fck you hasn’t served me and has limited me in many ways. Even though I no longer feel the defiance that inspired the name and initial work, my subconscious was still attached to that old energy keeping me weighed down.
I felt the misalignment and would start to move away but allow myself to default back to what was familiar. It was fine. But fine isn’t good enough. Not for me.
It took stillness and complete unplugging for me to acknowledge and accept that no matter how I try to shapeshift, Pink Cloud Coaching will never reward me with the level of satisfaction I seek. I will always come up short.
Can you relate to trying to force fit a belief or identity only to find yourself going in circles? It doesn’t fit. Arghhh.
Recently I heard someone say about acceptance, what if you meant to be here right where you are right now on purpose? That somehow allows me to expand a little bit more and able to receive what many could perceive as failure. Annnnd exhale.
Moving forward, I will teach, write, and speak under my own name.
The work won’t change much because it’s been highly effective. It’s more about how I feel in relation to my work. I am no longer tethered to the feeling of defiance with the pink cloud and my past with AA.
I am wholly sober. That’s who I am, how I live, and what I stand for and believe in. It’s not about the alcohol. Misusing alcohol is a signal of a deeper need not being met. Being wholly sober is BIGGER than abstinence and settling for ok. We have one life. Let’s not leave anything on the table for waste starting NOW!
We are not a single identity but a cosmos of feelings, thoughts, daydreams, beliefs, experiences, and stories we tell ourselves. But the great magical, mystical, and too often missed opportunity is we rarely pick up the pen, write the story we want, and live with defined intention. We all have that power.
If you’re interested in coaching, I have added a couple of longer-term, more intimate opportunities. These come with more commitment to building our connection, helping you progress quicker with less struggle and more confidence.
I am here for you.
Check out TeresaRodden.com and see all the new colors, images, and offerings, including my new podcast, Sober Nonsense, co-hosted with a client, now friend, and psychotherapist, Melissa Hale.
Cheers to the freedom to change our minds, make a shift, and continue to learn and grow in all ways always.
Much love to you, Teresa