The following is a Facebook post I wrote to go along with a video.  I decided to share it here instead because after I wrote it,  and posted it, another awareness sprung forward.  I share it all below.

This video brought up a painful awareness.

I have never felt protected by men.

I was abandoned, abused, used, or ignored by men (and boys) through my childhood, teens, and most of my adulthood.

There was not one man who would stand for me.  Not one!  I have made peace with the abandonment and the abuse.  But when I saw this video and how it demonstrated being protected – I felt an odd but familiar pang in my heart.  I’ve never felt protected.

It was a new awareness for me.

Just when you think you’ve opened every door and peered through every window a new hallway appears.

Thankfully I live in a country that has clearly defined laws and although lived in poverty most of my childhood I still lived in safer communities that abide the laws.  I am not naive to believe our country doesn’t have communities where women, children, and the weak are preyed upon.

And yet, I don’t want to take away the realization that there are horrifying places on our planet where women are more likely to be raped than not.

I know good, strong, honorable men today.  In part, I am able to see their goodness now.

There were a couple sprinkled in my youth that I was unable to appreciate because of the damage that had been done.  I believe if I had let them they would have stood for me.

Lord, please hear our prayers <3

Are you able to appreciate the goodness around you?

What filters (beliefs) are in place that affect your perceptions?

Thanks for posting Louise Baker.

And as I stepped away to stretch my back and pour a cup of coffee, this awareness came screaming through my mind…”I was preyed upon in my own home.  I was sexually molested and my little body used from my earliest memory.  And for some reason I discount that.  I didn’t count myself as being violated because it wasn’t a stranger and it wasn’t in a dark alley.”  F*ck!  Ladies, there are layers and layers and layers.  Pain is pain.  But don’t let it rape you of your future.

And let the healing begin <3